Validation is a strange thing, isn't it? I like to think that I don't really need it. But truthfully, I think all humans need it. When we receive validation, especially when we weren't seeking it, and it just comes out of left field, it's so special. It feels so good. I guess that's the same thing as getting a compliment. And that compliment validates something that maybe you weren't sure about. The same thing can be true about when someone validates something shitty that we're going through and how hard it is to carry the things that we're carrying in life. So I think we need validation, both in a way that celebrates but also honors the human experience that we're all moving through. And even if you're one that doesn't always seek it, it can feel really damn good to receive it. I feel like we all need that. Now I tend to be a person that doesn't usually seek validation. However, something really cool happened to me yesterday. And I'm reflecting on it today and how it relates to actually a lot of how I am and what I do in life. Hi, I'm Michelle Mateus, and welcome to Noticing the Ordinary. This podcast is all about solo musings and honest conversations where we share about the things we so often miss in life. There's no homework and there's no adding to your to-do list. Honestly, I'm just here to share some good company and something worth noticing. But a note before we dive in. I share openly and honestly here, and I'm not a therapist or a doctor. So if you're moving through something that you need some support with, I encourage you to reach out for professional help. And if you don't know where to turn to, I got you. I've listed some resources on my podcast homepage, so you can go check those out. All right, now let's get down to noticing something. I am in a choir. Actually, yesterday was my last performance with that choir because I'm taking a break from choir for now. And I was talking to someone as we're about to go on stage. We're whispering behind stage and they were talking about how they teach people how to make podcasts. And I was like, I just started a new podcast. And then they were asking me what the podcast was about, and they absolutely love the name, which was validating. And then I said, Yeah, you know what's really interesting? I tried to start a podcast before. However, it was on video. And this time I'm just doing audio. And I actually have no problem being on video. If you're someone that knows me andor has followed me on Instagram for some time, you'll know that I have no problem showing up with no makeup, messy hair, and just saying what's on my heart. But with this podcast, I just thought I'd try just audio, you know, kicking it old school, like radio. I loved radio and I still love podcasts. And ultimately, for me, it's kind of replaced radio. I put it on in the background, I listen, I work, I clean the house, I hang out in my garden, whatever it is. I love the fact that I don't have to sit there watching something. I can be in movement or I can be laying down or whatever, or however it is that I want to enjoy the podcast or the radio. And so, yeah, it was really validating to hear that not only did they like the title of my podcast, when I said I'm feeling very liberated by going audio only. And they said, and I never even thought of this. And I was like, thanks. They said, well, keeping it audio is in perfect alignment with what your podcast is called and what it's going to be about, because it will encourage people to use their imagination more. And perhaps as they're listening, they're not going to be tied into watching the video, but they may be looking around their own room, noticing things. And I was like, oh, oh my gosh, I love that. Now, that's not exactly how they said it word for word, but you get what I mean. It was so validating. I'm thinking of this right now because I'm sitting here editing some photos from a recent photo shoot for a client. And I was thinking about the importance of validation. A lot of people come to me to have their photos taken, even if they don't say this. But I really truly believe it's to be validated. We want to see something within ourselves that we don't often see. And as a photographer and the way that I connect with people, I'm told I see that. And I just see what I see. There's no magic recipe. I think it's really about intention and presence for myself as the photographer and trying to bring people into their own presence, which is actually incredibly hard to do, like really, really hard. We are operating a lot from our brain, and our brain is busy and overactive. So when you come in for a photo shoot, and the idea is to quiet the brain a little bit and connect with your body and be in your body and to emote what you're feeling and to have an opportunity to fully embody an expression of yourself. That is hard. That is hard for most people because we're not A, asked to do that, B, given the opportunity to do that. We've often lost contact with what that even means. And so this is why I say it's hard because we're always acting from the brain. And then the brain starts to take over. Am I doing this right? Am I this? Am I that? We're constantly questioning ourselves, right? And really difficult to be present and just be in our body and allow it to move around. And maybe it's moving in weird and wonderful ways. It's hard to do that. It's hard to just be in our bodies because we're always in our brains. And by the way, that includes me as well. And so these photos often act as validation of whatever it is that someone may be seeking. And honestly, I don't ask them, hey, are you looking to be validated through these photos? No, I don't ask them that at all. But it was really interesting last night when that was reflected to me about this podcast, about keeping it audio. Like I felt so validated. It felt so great because truthfully, I have gone back and forth. Should I have audio? Should I have video? And I actually didn't ask anyone's opinion because, in true me nature, I just decided to create this podcast and throw it out there and kind of wing it and see where it goes. And that's really in alignment with noticing the ordinary. The whole premise of this podcast is what are we noticing through our days? And not to go looking for it, but just I don't know, being receptive to what we may come upon. And yesterday, that feedback was everything. And yeah, as I'm editing these photos, I keep thinking how important validation is. Validating when someone is uncomfortable, or validating when someone's sad, validating joy and celebrating that with others. I think there's a whole range of human emotions and experiences that we all need validation for. It helps us feel more grounded. It helps us feel more connected. It helps us feel more positive about what we're doing. It's interesting. I have a child and I'm always telling him, hey, you don't need anyone to validate you. And here I am talking about validation. And I think what I'm trying to say to him is he will show us a piece of art and ask us a million times, do you like it? Do you like it? Is it good? Is it good? And I say, Yeah, it's amazing. I think that's really cool. If I like it, I mean I'm I'm not one to fake it. And he'll be like, no, you don't really like it. I'm like, I do. I think it's really cool. And I'll point things out about it that I like. And then I'll say, you know, you want to create for yourself, and we shouldn't rely on other people's validation. I have said that so many times. And I actually really do believe it. I don't think we need to rely on others' validation. But what I think is that we need to offer validation to people in genuine, loving ways. Because it really does make a difference. This also makes me think about when I go to the grocery store, I always shop at the same grocery store near my home. And I see the same staff over and over, and I also see people treat them not very kindly. And every time I notice that someone in front of me has been rude, I instantly start thinking, what can I do to brighten up their day? Because some jerk in front of me in line was so rude, and this person doesn't make up the prices. It's not their fault that they're short staffed and the lineup was longer, whatever it is. And so when it becomes my turn to engage with that person, I always try and think of something nice to say, and that's validating. So as I was editing these photos and thinking about, yeah, that's a big part of why people have photos taken, or at least with me, because I'm not taking photos in a very traditional way. I like to get a little bit fun and artsy, a little funky, sometimes a little moody. I like to photograph people if they start crying. And even capturing those emotions is validating that they are having that really real human experience. And instead of just pretending like it's not happening, honestly, I photograph all through it in a way that honors what they're experiencing. And I think that's the thing that I want to share about today is that we can validate one another without seeking it, you know, it's not about seeking validation, it's just about offering it. Offering space. When people say holding space, I sometimes wonder what does that even mean? And are we truly doing that because in order to hold space, we also need to validate what that person is experiencing in that space, right? So I'm gonna get back to editing these photos, but a little reminder that a little bit of validation, especially when someone's not seeking it, goes a long way. So next time you're out and about in the world and you're noticing, ah, it looks like someone's having a hard time, or that was unfortunate how that person was treated. I would encourage you to validate that, like I do at the grocery store and say, wow, I'm sorry someone was rude to you, but I love your earrings. I can often find something about someone to compliment them on. And I encourage you to do the same. And the same way that I just said, hey, let's validate when people weren't treated nicely or are going through a hard time. Let's also make sure we validate their wins. There's so many easy ways we can do that. It doesn't cost us anything. Compliments cost us nothing. And hey, if you like this podcast, you can also validate me by sharing it. That's all for today, friends. Don't forget, while you're moving through the world, offer someone a little love and validation. And I truly hope that something ordinary crosses your path soon. I'm Michelle Mateus, and this was Noticing the Ordinary. Until next time.